a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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