Barsexuality is the new black.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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