No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize