I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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