The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize