I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize