we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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