Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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