bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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