I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
