Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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