i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
