He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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