I cockslap morals
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
