now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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