just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
