its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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