She's JV to your varsity
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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