There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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