i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I had to cum in my sink.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
