Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
