So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
