Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
