I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i think i have two assholes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
