..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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