So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
