I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
