just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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