just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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