"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just found puke in my bra..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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