You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
