seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
