I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
