the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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