best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
