1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize