Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
