He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
