So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hippo gnu deer
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
