Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
