she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
