oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize