Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
