drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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