This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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