We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
