We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
