I just made out with a guy for $7.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
even my farts smell like vagina
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
