Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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