I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
