Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
