OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
