weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize