found the other keg... it's in the tree
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
