brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
