I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
