I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
