do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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