i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
