Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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